Why We Need to Have Boundaries
And why it’s so hard to maintain them
I am not an expert on boundaries by any means. I’m not sure that any of us are. We all struggle with them. Some are better at boundaries than others. Some seem like they’re better at boundaries because they are direct about what they want and don’t want. But they also may not be able to compromise, and that is not necessarily having healthy boundaries.
Maintaining healthy boundaries is a constant work in progress, especially since our lives inevitably change over time. We go through transitions, and we have to readjust our priorities, and by extension, our boundaries.
Based on my extensive experience with being really bad at boundaries and learning from my mistakes as well as helping others do the same, I believe that making healthy boundaries and sticking to them must be a slow and deliberate process.
A healthy comfort zone
First, you have to be aware of what your boundaries are. There are things that you’re comfortable with, and things that you aren’t. That’s just who we are as unique individuals.
For example, I need quiet when I read and write. I’ve always been that way. As a kid, I would go to my room to study. Or I’d wait until all the members of my (very) large family were asleep…
